My Journey

During my time in the church, I have learned that Christians generally tend to have two answers about when they came to know Christ:  #1  I was raised in a Christian family, church has always been part of my life  or #2  One day, during a specific event, "I had an ah ha moment".

As a matter of clarification, I, personally, don't feel that answer #1 is necessarily a clarifying statement.  I don't believe that being raised in a Christian home, necessarily makes you a Christian, nor does it attest to your relationship with Christ.  I do believe that being raised in a Christian home can help you and aid you in how you treat others and your general attitude on life, and hopefully, this gives you the tools to develop your personal relationship with Christ.

As for me?  I obviously didn't start out in a Christian environment, nor did I have that "ah ha moment".  For me, I've had random moments of generalization.

When I was first put into foster care, I was angry, bitter, scared.  My personal relationship with Christ was, in my eyes, non existent.  For about the first 6 months to a year, I struggled.  I struggled with being in a new school, a new home and therapy.  Despite my struggles, there were many things I was instantly thankful for.  Warm meals.  As shallow as this sounds, I was thankful for:  new clothes.  I was able to go shopping and buy new clothes.  Something I had never done before.  (on a side note . . . as excited as I was about that, I'm not a shopper.  Never have been, don't think I ever will be).  And friendships with my peers.

As a means for "Prince Charming" to keep his secret, more often then not, I was grounded for some reason or another.  For me, this meant confinement to my room in the basement without meals. This is where my books came in very handy.  I was, of course, allowed upstairs to do my chores, which consisted mainly of doing the dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and my personal favorite ~ picking up dog poo in the yard.  As gross as that was, I often took my time with that one.  Aside from walking to and from school, the library, or the church, this was often my only opportunity to be outside.

Stored next to my room, was the food the "Host" received from commodities.  If you're unfamiliar with commodities, it was a food program for Native Americans.  Canned fruit, vegetables, corn syrup, peanut butter and cheese.  When I would be brought upstairs to take care of the dishes, I would often slip the can opener in a pocket or hide it in the stair well when no one was looking.  Needless to say, I ate my fair share of canned fruit and peanut butter, and yes, the occasional "sip" of corn syrup.  It took years before I could eat peanut butter or canned fruit again ~ shocker right?  So you can understand my deep appreciation for warm, healthy meals.

But, I digress.  As time went on, I began to thrive.  My relationship with my foster parents, who, from here are out are simply, my parents.  My friendships with my peers were excelling.  There was even a boy or two in the mix.  I was in one on one therapy as well as group therapy, and both went very well.  I was on the B honor roll in school.  I was in sports, drama and choir.

My senior year of high school, when I went to my final court hearing, the judge told me how proud he was of me.  How absolutely impressed he was by how far I had come.  I can't even begin to tell you how much that meant to me.

I could continue on from here, and highlight all the details in my life that I finally looked back on (many years after the fact), and realized, God has always been with me.  But, as there are many of those moments that have occurred in my 35 years of life, I don't want to bore you, so we'll flash forward a bit :-).

My realization came slowly, with my first knowledge being "everything happens for a reason".  Progressed to, ok, yes, God is there, BUT, I don't need to be baptized, baptize my children, OR get out of bed on Sunday mornings to prove my beliefs.  If God loves me, he'll love me even when I'm in my own home.

Truthfully, I do still firmly believe that going to church isn't what makes me, or anyone else for that matter, a Christian.  You've heard the saying, "going to church doesn't make me a Christian anymore then standing in the garage makes me a car".  Very true.  The church building itself isn't a magical place.  It's just a building.  A group of believers congregating in the park, at the mall, in someones living room ~ you get the idea, will have the same affect.

I believe that having Christ in your life is a constant journey.  There will always be trials and tribulations.  The firmer you are in your faith, the more we seem to be tested.  I am happy to say, I have finally become strong enough, that regardless of what obstacle stands before me, I know I can over come it because God is with me.

I am also happy to say, that on December 12th, myself, along with my children, will be baptized.  A huge turning point in my life, as well as a joyful one.  My personal relationship with Christ has given me new light on life and I look forward to my continued journey and developing an even stronger bond with our Lord, and hopefully helping others along the way.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.  Psalm 62:1-2