Play Nice Kids!!

See that little red headed girl?  What a doll huh?  That was me . . .well, kind of.  You take away the curls, and make the red hair a little deeper ~ and batta bing, you have me at 5 years old.  Why am I using a picture of Little Orphan Annie?  Well, I was contemplating what I should blog about next . . .what part of my journey I should share.  (not to mention, I used to daydream that someday, Daddy Warbucks would come take me away too)  And, the image that kept popping into my head was my Kindergarten picture.  Now, if I could have found that, I'd have gladly shared that instead.  

There's a bit of a time gap in my school pictures.  I have my Kindergarten picture (somewhere in the land of the lost) and then nothing until 7th grade.  Admittedly, it's kind of sad to not be able to look back at each years pictures to see my growth, and how I changed . . .much like I enjoy comparing my childrens pictures each year.  On the same token, I remember what those years of my life were like, and I realize, I really don't want to see my growth or changes.  The contrast between my Kindergarten picture, a healthy, happy cute little girl (yea, I'm biased) and how I looked when I was put in the crisis shelter that summer night is frightening.  I don't remember much, mainly because one's self perspective is often skewed.  What I've been told was this:  at 5'3"(ish) I was vastly under weight weighing in somewhere between 70-75 lbs.  Stringy hair and pale gaunt face.  And of course, freckles galore (ok, that part hasn't changed).  My clothes were always outdated and always too big.

Elementary school was difficult for me.  It's hard to fit in with kids when you're not involved in things outside of school and you're not allowed to go to other peoples home . . .and even more so, when you don't want other people to visit you.  Kids in school were often mean, teasing me about my appearance or anything else they could think of  (which, at an elementary level, is thankfully limited).  Kids on the bus were down right cruel.  Boys had fun smacking me with books, spitting on me, or tripping me when they had the opportunity.  Needless to say, when I had the opportunity to walk to and from school, I took it. 

For many children, school is their safe haven.  It's where they can be safe and be away from a sometimes, very dysfunctional family.  The problem though, is that children are (as they should be) simple creatures.  For the most part, they base their likes and dislikes based on how things look.  How often have you witnessed a child not wanting to eat something because it "looked weird" or not wanted to read a book because it "looked boring"?  Not to mention, of course, the concept of "if my friends don't like it/them, I won't either".  How often, do we, as parents, let critical comments slip out of our mouths about a stranger or even someone we knows appearance?

There was a point in time where I held a lot of bitterness towards those children who teased so harshly.  I realize now, it's not their fault.  Kids, by design, aren't cruel.  What I can do, however, is try to break that cycle and hopefully instill better qualities in my own children.  They don't realize how much their harsh words can impact someone.


When I was in high school, our speech class performed a play for the entire school, and the 5th and 6th graders.  It, in my eyes, was a very powerful play, and I was truly blessed to be part of the project.  The play was called "Carl".  It was about a young man who was teased constantly at school.  No matter what he did, he wasn't good enough.  At the end of the play, it became too much for Carl, and he took his own life.  Sadly, that play hasn't been performed since 1994.  And now, with teen suicide and violence on the rise, the message from that play is needed now more then ever. 


As parents, it's our responsibility to help our kids be open minded, and not 'judge a book by it's cover'.  It's important to remember, what you see, isn't always what you get.  Everyone has a story.  Take the time to get to know someones story. . . .to find out where they are in their faith journey.   If they haven't started yet, then maybe that's your opportunity to plant the seed.